Future of English Language (Joke)
By http://vedmouse.narod.ru/pere-humor.htm
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Changes to the English Language
The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the European
Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
Government conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
that
would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly,this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard 'c'
will be dropped in favor of the 'k'. This should
klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year
when the troublesome 'ph' will be replased with the 'f'.
This will make words like 'fotograf' 20% shorter!
In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling
kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated
changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal
of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it should go
away.
By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as
replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w' wiz 'v'. During ze fifz
year ze unesesary 'o' kan be dropd from vords kontaining
'ou'
and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations
of leters.
After ze fifz yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl.
Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil find
it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.
Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!
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